Without endings there can be no new beginnings

The last couple of weeks I’ve been doing a lot of hiding out from life and lying on the couch watching series or reading.  I call it my little vacation from life, but like all good things, it has to come to an end now.

I’ve started my Unisa exams, so far the last 2 exams didn’t go so well, but I am positive that the next 4 will go much better, because, naturally, the most difficult and time consuming subjects were scheduled to be written first.

The one positive thing about exams this semester is that I got 2 weeks off work during my notice month.  I am convinced that if I had to work the full month I would not have made it through without some kind of breakdown.  And just to affirm that quitting this job was the correct decision, the MD informed me that my study leave was revoked and she will take it out of my annual leave just so that they don’t have to pay me out for all my leave.  I should have expected something like that from them, but I guess it could be worse, they could’ve refused my leave all together.

I start my new job on June 1st and while I am excited, I am also quite nervous.  I start of with 2 weeks of training in Rivonia and then I will begin my job as a Senior After-hours Consultant in Midrand. I cannot wait to get my shift roster to see which weeks I have off.  I still feel that the job is too good to be true, because for every 4 weeks I work, I get 1 week off plus my normal 15 days of annual leave.  Not to mention the amazing salary I will be getting and which, I must admit, I have been spending in my mind like a crazy shopaholic.

Here’s to new beginnings and hopefully I will be happier at the new company.

I am a Travel Agent

This e-mail is quite old but it made it’s way back into my Inbox and I decided to share it.  Not because it is funny, but because these are things my clients regularly expect of me, or actually of Travel Agents in general.  Receiving this e-mail again combined with the fact that I will be celebrating 10 years of being a Travel Agent next month makes me want to pack up my personal belongings, drive down to Cape Town and become a Bergie on the beach.

I am a travel agent….I have advance degrees in accounting, public relations, marketing, business building, computer science, civil engineering, and Swahili.

I am a travel agent….Of course I remember the reservation you booked six years ago, even though you don’t have a confirmation number and you think it was made under a last name that begins with a T.

I am a travel agent….It’ s no problem for me to give you seven connecting non-smoking poolside suites with 2 king beds and 4 rollaways in each, and yes, it is my fault that the hotel does not have a helicopter pad.

I am a travel agent….I speak all languages and have visited EVERY destination.

I am a travel agent….It’ s obvious to me when you book your reservation for Friday, you really mean Saturday.

I am a travel agent….My company has entrusted me with financial information, and yet I can’t tell you why your hotel bill for March 2001 had a charge for a R50 phone call because, of course, you shouldn’t have to pay for calls.

I am a travel agent….I understand that Joe Blow Ltd. is a vast empire and will make or break my agency.

I am a travel agent….Yes, I am lying when I say there are no seats left at the lowest price during Spring Break, Thanksgiving or Christmas.

I am a travel agent….No, it’s not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms at the hotel you want, and this time I will not forget the helicopter landing pad!

I am a travel agent….I am capable of checking fares for three people, taking five reservations and answering fifteen calls simultaneously.

I am a travel agent….I always know where to find the best vegetarian, kosher and Mongolian barbecue restaurants.

I am a travel agent….I know exactly what to do in all cities without spending money.

I am a travel agent….I take responsibility for airline food, traffic jams, rental car flat tires, weather, hotel locations, and the national economy.

I am a travel agent….Of course I can fit you into the hotel at the special corporate rate because you are affiliated with the Blackburn North Lawn Bowling club.

I am a travel agent… I am never offended when I spend 10 hours researching a 12 day Europe itinerary only to hear you say you “I booked it myself over the internet and saved $30 !!!” I also never gloat when you call back to say the rate was sold out or that you are stuck in the middle of nowhere since they cancelled your flight and you cannot “call” your internet provider to be booked on another flight.

I am a travel agent… I love when people walk up to me at parties and out of the blue expect me to know the latest airline fares from Melbourne to Ibiza via Byron Bay, the Maldives and Nairobi “off the top of my head”.

I am a travel agent… I love that everyone assumes I get to travel everywhere for free and when I do get to take advantage of a perk people act like it is a sin against nature. If you ask me to get you the rate at my “travel agent discount” I will kill you.

I am a travel agent…Don’ t bother telling me any dates or cities since I am a mind reader and already have the reservation in my crystal ball before you can tell me.

I smile, empathize, sympathize, console, cajole, up-sell, down-sell, cross-sell, perform, sing, dance, make coffee and fix the printer…..

…….. I AM A TRAVEL AGENT!!!  

Dear Clients

I would like to thank you for making the past 2 weeks of my work-life absolute hell.  You’re lack of any kind of planning or organising is causing my workload to quadruple.  Changing your booking 4 times only to eventually go back to the original arrangements is not funny, and you laughing about it on the phone makes me want to go over to your office and bitch slap you with a cactus.

Also, I do not appreciate it when you as travel coordinator couldn’t be bothered to ask your people what times their meetings are and then expect me to quote you on 6 different times during the day so that they can “choose”.  Newsflash:  I have a lot of clients and a lot of work, I simply cannot quote you on every single flight because you suck at your job!  Seriously, pick up the phone and talk to your colleague / boss!

And lastly, dear Prof I, you get a personalised mention in this letter.  I appreciated that you try and book your tickets in advance, and I really understand that plans change, but asking me for restrictive tickets every single time and promising not to change, when we both know that you are going to, is insufferable.  And even worse, making funny little quips when asking me to do upgrades / reroutings and reissues for you, really gets my blood boiling.  Then after all the work is done, and lots of swearing and calling you a wanker, you go and send me sincere thanks and apologies, which just makes me feel bad about being so horrible about your changes, especially since you are the only client, who bothers to send me any kind of recognition for the work I just did.

So to all of my clients, whose e-mails are piling up on my inbox, I just spent the last 40 minutes, typing this blog post while intermittently singing and dancing along to the music in the office.  I hope you enjoy the wait in me getting back to you because you finally broke me.

Sincerely,

A very tired and pissed off travel consultant.

Horrible clients; we have them

I’m a corporate travel consultant and I absolutely hate my job, but some days are just worse than others.  Today was actually a good day for me work wise;   my clients were busy, but not too hectic and everything was running smoothly, that is until my colleague went out for lunch.  Her corporate clients are the absolute worst clients ever and I really do not like assisting them when she’s not here.

She left just after 1pm, which is a normal time to take lunch you would think, but not 5 minutes after she left, 1 of her clients called and asked for her.  When the receptionist said she is out on lunch, he went off at her and honest to god told her “that is unacceptable!”  Seriously!  This is the type of people we have to deal with on a daily basis, even though this client (and all his colleagues at the same company) is the most horrid of them all.

His crisis: His SA passport is full and he is travelling to Kenya on Monday, and needs to know if he needs a visa on his European passport.  His ticket was issued last week, but he waits for Friday afternoon, and after the Embassy is closed, to decide to check on his passport / visa problem.

While I am trying to sort all this out, and am frantically trying to call around to get the correct information because heaven forbid something goes wrong with his trip, another guy from the same company calls.  His crisis:  He is going to be very late and possibly miss his flight and the next flight is only 3 ½ hours later and he can’t sit around at the airport that long.  What does he want from me, you might wonder, he wants me to call the airline and tell them to wait for him, he is 10 minutes away.

I really have no words to explain the arrogance and ignorance of some clients! And the funny thing about the travel industry is that even though you think you have heard the most outrageous request ever, something will come along that is even more ridiculous as the requests that came before it!