Reverb11 Day 28 – 31

Day 28    Forgiveness – What one thing do you need to forgive yourself for this year?

I have to forgive myself for my procrastination and laziness.  I could have achieved so much more this year if I just got started or in some cases pushed through the difficult bits.  There is nothing worse than knowing you are to blame for your failures and that you could have done better.

Day 29   Shaking Things Up – Looking towards 2012, what can you do to shake things up a little next year?

I don’t like spontaneity, I love planning things in advance.  In 2012, I am going to act on my impulses more often.  If I feel like doing something fun, I am going to do it and not over analyze everything.  It’s time to start having more fun and doing more things that I haven’t done before

Day 30    3 Wishes – If a genie could grant you 3 wishes for 2012, what would they be?  

1. To have enough money to enjoy my life and not to live from paycheck to paycheck
2. Happiness.  I want happiness in all it’s forms no matter how small or trivial it might seem to others
3. I want the strength to accomplish everything I want, to reach the goals I’ve set myself and to be the person I want to be.  I want to be able to make the difficult decisions with certainty and to make things work for me no matter how bad or hopeless they seem.

Day 31    Reflect – Take a moment to think back on your Reverb11 responses.  Have you learned anything?  What surprised you about this experience?  Which of your responses was your favourite?

Looking back over my Reverb11 posts, I am genuinely shocked about how negative and dark my year was and how few positive things I had to say about it.  I am also shocked that I made it through such a horrible year and that at the end of it, after reflection, I am trying to be positive and enthusiastic for the new year.

I think my most shocking, yet favourite response to Reverb11 was for Day 30, where I (the most materialistic person I know) wished for strength and happiness in stead of tons of Jimmy Choo’s and Louise Vuitton handbags (seriously, these items are on my all time life affirming wish list).  I guess it made me realise that I do actually know what is important in life, but I won’t mind doing it while being fabulously accesorised.

Reverb11 Day 1 – One Word

I first heard about Reverb11 on Donna’s Blog, and it seems like a very good idea for me to really reflect over the last year, and to think about what I want out of 2012.  If you want to participate in Reverb11, click here to sign up.

One Word. Encapsulate the year 2011 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word.  Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2012 for you?

DEBILITATING

2011 was completely and utterly debilitating.  It is the year where I have hit rock bottom.  I swear my soul has been shattered.  My mind gets covered with a black fog just trying to think back over 2011.  I have never in my life been this bone-tired, and don’t ever want to go back to feeling this way.  Every aspect of my life and who I am have been tainted by this putrid fog of negativity and weariness brought on from working in a horrendously negative environment.  No job or amount of money is worth going through all that.  In retrospect, I should have just taken my handbag and walked out of that job without looking back.  But I didn’t, and now I am here at the end of 2011, trying to pick up the pieces of my being.

My word for 2012 is WISHBOAN

I’m not even sure if it is a real word, but it is the title of my favourite Boo song, and I would love to go back to being able to feel the way in this song:

I do believe in the dreams the night to me has given 
And it’s these dreams that by day keep me driven 
I try today, try to make the most of tomorrow 
‘Cause I believe that my days here are do barrow 

Oh my wishboan, oh my shooting star. Walk with me

I’m so happy to be myself 
No rather be nobody else 
Proud to be myself 
No rather be nobody else